And then my soul saw you and it kind of went "Oh there you are. I've been looking for you.”

ماتم۔

سرخ گلاب کی پتیوں کو دھیرے دھیرے شاخ سے الگ کرتے ہوئے وہ اپنی ہی دنیا مین مگن تھی۔ دیوار سے ٹیک کئے، سفید سلک پشواس میں ملبوس وہ نہ جانے کتنی ہی دیر سے اپنی جگہ بیٹھی زمیں کو تک رہی تھی۔ آنکھیں دیکھو تو لگتا تھا برسوں کی جاگی ہو۔۔۔ چہرے سے بھی ایسی شدید تھکن عیان تھی کہ معلوم ہوتا صدیوں کا کوئی جوگ پالا ہو۔ یا پھر جس طرح کسی ملاح کو تمام کشتیان جلا کر اپنی آخری امانت سونپنے کی دیر ہو، وہ بھی اپنی زندگی کسی جھونکے میں کھو دینے کی منتظر ہو۔

تم یہاں بیٹھی کیا کر رہی ہو؟ میں کب سے دیکھتا ہوں تم اپنی جگہ سے نہیں ہلی۔۔ کس بات کا غم ہے تمہیں، کس مراد کو دل میں لئے پال رہی ہو؟

مجھے کیوں کوئی غم ہوگا بابا۔ خوشی غمی سے اپنے رشتے تو میں توڑ آئی ہوں۔ یہ بھی بھلا کوئی معنی رکھتے ہیں؟

بیٹے پھر تم یہاں قبرستان میں کیا لینے آتی ہو؟ مُردوں سے دل لگانے پرکونسا انہیں زندگی مل جاتی ہے؟ زندگی تو زندوں سے ملتی ہے۔ لین دین سے۔ تعلقات سے۔ جسم اور روح کو جوڑ لینے سے۔

بابا روح کو جوڑنا ہی تو چایتی ہوں۔ پر مجھے سکون نہیں ملتا۔ جسکا وجود بنجارہ ہو اسے کہیں پھول راس نہیں آتے۔۔۔

وجود زمین ہے بیٹے۔ زمین کبھی بانجھ نہیں ہوتی۔ دعا سب کچھ بدل دیتی ہے۔ ذات اور وجود میں دعا ہی پیاپبر بنی ہوتی ہے۔ کیا تمہیں زات کی تلاش نہیں؟

-

گلاب کا عرق اسکی انگلیوں کو لال کر ریا تھا۔ یا پھر شاید کوئی کانٹا چبھا تھا۔

ماریہ عمران۔

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36 responses

  1. Hey Bhagwaan! Itna dukh kyun?

    Waise… Suna Karanchi Airport pe thodi problem ho gayi hai… Ab haalaat kaise hain?

    June 9, 2014 at 1:58 am

    • Yeah, theek suna hae. Ab strict security lagi hae airport pe.

      Kehty hean ek country ka literature uski halaat ki akkasi krta hy. So if people write or paint severely dark or depressing things, there’s a probability that the country is going through some hard times too.
      Did you see those paintings at YALE? Ye sab.

      June 9, 2014 at 3:57 pm

      • Yes I saw the paintings…

        Bahut kuchh kehne ko hai… but I better remain silent… It is an open blog :)

        Bus itna hi kahunga ki it is the literature of the country that shows you the way… It is the source of inspiration for the nation… Let it show the truth and instill hope… Let it sow the seeds of change… :)

        June 11, 2014 at 11:25 am

  2. Stay safe…

    June 9, 2014 at 2:01 am

  3. Alaaa! Bahot khooob!
    The is simple yet so deep. Its very hard to do that, i guess, nahi?
    Maria, this doesnt have complicated urdu vocab yet its so classy. :) like every other work of yours I love this one as well. :D
    Oh and at the penultimate sentence i was like “uska khooon hai maria wohhhh” and then I read ” ya phir shayad koi kaanta chuba tha” :P

    June 9, 2014 at 3:49 am

    • Coolest. Comment. Ever. :D

      Thank you for loving it. It’s somehow similar to my previous Urdu writings, and I feel like I am repeating the same stuff over and over again. Bukowski says we writers are fools, driven. :P
      Kher though. Mjhy kia Bukowski se.

      Jazakillah.:)

      June 9, 2014 at 4:01 pm

      • Yeah you tend to write along these lines frequently ;)
        And yet people love and adore those fools ^_^

        June 9, 2014 at 8:31 pm

  4. Im really Bad at urdu, I dont even like urdu. But i love it the most when i saw some urdu written Post, it attracts me. And this one is off the hook. its Deep

    June 9, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    • You don’t like Urdu? I love Urdu! ^_^
      But thank you so very much for your kind compliment! It feels so good to know you read it and liked it. =) Keep visiting!

      June 9, 2014 at 3:39 pm

      • im bad at every language but Urdu , it ruined my matric, Takhi Urdu poetry 9th and 10th ki n bad marks in it, Ruined my over all percentage .

        June 9, 2014 at 6:04 pm

        • Oh. Sorry to know that.
          And look at me I even chose Urdu at University level. :P

          The syllabus we have in ninth and tenth isn’t liked by many. But I guess I got a really cool teacher and maybe I was interested in all literary stuff myself which makes a difference, no?
          Khaer. Thank you again for stopping by! Your username is pretty unique. Me likesss.^_^

          June 9, 2014 at 6:37 pm

          • Lol studying urdu at university level, i cud have studied Chemistry rather than studying urdu :P it eat brains for me .
            Ahh thakns ,i like it too.it tells alot about me so i dont have to explain my self more :D

            June 9, 2014 at 6:40 pm

          • Lol it’s not that bad. Chemistry is fun too. I’d been studying that and Physics and Maths since ever. :P

            June 9, 2014 at 6:48 pm

          • lol have you ever studied Calculus ?

            June 9, 2014 at 7:02 pm

          • yeah. :p Derivatives and differentials. They’re so uff.

            June 9, 2014 at 7:05 pm

          • Even derivatives and differentials bit joy,but when it talks about limits, functions, maxima,minima it gets yuck, at that moment firdus ashiq awan is more likely than calculus

            June 9, 2014 at 7:08 pm

          • Firdous Ashiq Awan? Seriously? God, okay.

            June 9, 2014 at 7:19 pm

          • Yeah try that. Calculus is a mother of evil witches

            June 9, 2014 at 7:46 pm

  5. Jis qabaristaan me surkh gulaab k phool khilna shuru ho jaen wo qabristaan pher qabristaan naheen rehta…. wahaan duniya aabaad honay lagti hai. Sakoon, jism ko rooh se jor lenay se naheen, rooh ko zaat se jor lenay se milta hai…. Aur zaat ko paana mushkil naheen bus apna wajood khatam kerna perta hai.
    The last line is just perfect…. Love your work…It is simply amazing.

    June 9, 2014 at 8:22 pm

    • This!

      Qabrustaan me phool nahi khiltay. Par muhabbat karny waley mur’don ko aur kuch bhi tou nhi detay? Dua. Aur gulaab ke phool? In me se kaam sirf ek ata hy lekin.
      I love your thoughts. Sukoon zaat ko jorr leny se ata hy. Bilkul. Wujood khatam karna parrta hae. This. Yes. <3
      Here's another post I wrote earlier. Almost similar. Password for now is kashkol :)

      Also, thank you so very much. Means a lot.

      June 9, 2014 at 8:33 pm

      • Sorry for the interference… but… passwords jag-zaahir nahin karte :P

        Waise ye post to khula hua tha pehle… abhi password protect kyun kar diya?

        June 10, 2014 at 2:56 pm

        • Pata hae. :P Abhi koi problem nahi thi mjhy password se.
          Aapne already parha hua bhi hy. :P

          Bus ek waja thi. ^_^ Mjhy apna khud nahi pata hota:p

          June 10, 2014 at 3:06 pm

      • Very well said Maria. <3 you.

        June 11, 2014 at 12:14 am

  6. it seems a shift from materialistic to spiritual experience. good work

    June 14, 2014 at 10:14 am

  7. اُف میرےخُدا ۔۔۔۔ کیا بات ہے ۔۔۔ تجھے پتا ہے ، میں نے یہ پڑھا تو میں حیران رہ گیا ۔۔۔ اور میرے پہلے جزبات فخر کے تھے ۔۔۔ ایسا لگتا ہے کے ابھی کل کی بات ہے ۔۔۔ جب میں تجھے اُردو کی بورڈ انسٹال کرنا سیکھا رہا تھا ۔۔۔ اور وہ بھی قدم بہ قدم ۔۔۔۔ یاد ہے ، اور تونے تو ہار ہی مان لی تھی ۔۔۔ میرے سے نہیں ہو گا ۔۔۔ اور اب یہ پوسٹ ۔۔۔!!!

    بہت خوبصورت ہے، دھیمی اور دل کو چُھونے والی ۔۔۔۔!!! اگلا باب کب آرہا ہے ۔۔۔ مجھے شدت سے انتزار ہے ۔۔۔۔!!!
    :)

    June 24, 2014 at 10:11 am

    • Well that was my zid … kay comment to urdu mai he hona chahiye … per turns out kay meri urdu itni achi nai hai … :p

      Seriously … this is really something to be proud of …!!! Its beautiful, magical and fabulous … excellent choices of words …!!!

      As always … lots of love, prayers and stay blessed …!!! :D

      June 24, 2014 at 10:16 am

    • Thank you so much!
      “Beautiful, magical, fabulous, excellent choice of words”. I can die in peace now. :P

      Han yad hae. Obviously. :p Maene haar man li thi because it looked so complicated but my teacher turned out to be patient enough to bear with a student like that.
      Glad you liked reading this. Also, shukriya for reblogging. And for your support. :)

      June 25, 2014 at 5:53 pm

      • Na na … Mari na … Meri fees kon de ga ….!!! :p

        “Kay student like that” … Khabar daar jo mere student ko kuch bhi kaha to … I have never had a better …!!! Seekhane ka maza to tab he hai jab seekhne wala aur sekhane wala dono equal struggle kare … That struggle has no charm, for which you don’t sweat…!!!

        Always count on it …. my support …!!!

        Der se he saihi … hamesha darust zaroor aae gi …!!!

        Ehsaas hai kay jawab bohot der baad bhej raha hoon … per Maazarat kay saath qaboool karain to nawazish ho gi …!!!

        Aur ye kya andhera andhera kia hua hai apne Ameer khaney mai … Lagta hai aap ka POWER PLANT nai kaam kar raha…!!! Itna rang bi ranga aur khushgawar hota tha ye bechara blog …. kia haal kar diya hai…!!!

        July 10, 2014 at 6:34 pm

        • Haha. “Dair se sahi hamesha durust ayegi” Shukar hae you are not a doctor. Warna mareezon ki jaan jati apki support atey atey. :’)
          Lol Light chaly gai hy mery blog pe. ^.^ Itna rang ba ranga aur khushgawaar hota tha bechara blog. Abhi I think is se bhi ziada buray haal pe jany wala hae. Zaroori tha change krna.;)

          July 10, 2014 at 6:51 pm

  8. Reblogged this on andeelusman and commented:
    An lovely piece of work by my friend … a must read…!!! :)

    June 24, 2014 at 10:20 am

  9. “زندگی تو زندوں سے ملتی ہے”
    زندگی تو زندگی سے ملتی ہے اور زندگی من چلے کا سودا ہے.
    Your posts always inspire me to write something. So, here it is, titled زندگی. http://vibrantmirage.com/blog/

    June 25, 2014 at 2:16 pm

  10. This. Is. Wonderful.

    July 6, 2014 at 10:38 pm

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