Rotten Rose.

In the darkest of times
And deepest of miseries
There is always someone
Who makes me smile.
That someone is someone
Who rubs away my tears
In manners such that I fail to realize
That someone brings me flash-backs
And joyful thoughts
Whenever,
Wherever,
May I hide and cry
He is sure to come
And support
And listen
And not listen
And advice
And not advice
And make me feel better
Always.

He is Allah.
He is God.
He is Divine.
But He’s a friend.
A friend doesn’t mind stupid things
A friend cares
A friend hears
So He does too
And more than you could
For all my deepest darkest secrets
‘My guilty pleasures’
My short and sweet sins
My bigger sins
My not-really-sins
My good deeds
My hidden
My exposed
My thoughts
My evil side
And angelic
And kinder
And crueller
Is all visible to Him.

So I hide.
I hide in a corner
And don’t pray.
And don’t talk.
And don’t ask.
I forget to be ‘good’
Then
Well, He lets me be it
I tend to turn
Into a monster
Or a killer
Or sinner
And He doesn’t stop me.
Not even once.
He does direct
But I like to ignore.
He lets me do it.
He doesn’t punish.
Just leaves me there
And I fail to mind
I ‘fail to feel’
Who’s leaving me
I fail to realize
If I am hurting none but self.
He doesn’t force anything
At all.
Then the world kicks me
Spits on me
‘Pelts stones’
And throws me away
Like garbage
In a dust can
And sometimes,
Not even in a dust can,
They think I don’t deserve it.
They leave me
Somewhere filthy
Themselves!
And call me disgusting
Can you imagine?
They do.
They just do.
They are weird.
Cruel.
Very cruel.

So then
You know
Nobody comes
Not even those whose
Tongues never used to tire
From my ‘appreciations’
And their ‘well wishes’
Nobody
Picks the fallen rose.
They let me dry
And stink
Just as a ‘rotten rose’ does?
So yes,
There I find
Allah.

He comes
Wipes my tears
Clears my fears
Holds me
Doesn’t scold
Even when I do deserve
His Scoldings.
He makes me forget my past
And tells me how I could make
My future brighter.
I bow.
He smiles.
I then make some promises
Of ‘never disobeying’
He still smiles
Though He knows
What a liar
A coward
A ‘rotten rose’ I am.

– RandomlyAbstract

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58 thoughts on “Rotten Rose.

  1. wajahat75 says:

    I love it! I had a similar inspiration from Him when I wrote “Are You There, God?”. I’m a firm believer that Allah allows us to stumble so that we can eventually find our own way and the right path.

    • randomlyabstract says:

      Wow, thank you.
      And you’re right. Stumbles and falls come for reasons, that we fail to comprehend before. We blame anybody or everybody, because we love to blame, and we find blaming the easiest option.

      Read your post ‘Are you there, God?’. It is superb!

  2. cabrogal says:

    The ‘like’ is for both this excellent poem and for ihateyou.

    I don’t know why you pulled ‘ihateyou’ – I thought it was great.
    I especially liked the ambiguity.
    Ghost story or stress related flashback? Who can say?

  3. Pamela says:

    “He still smiles
    Though He knows
    What a liar
    A coward
    A β€˜rotten rose’ I am.”
    The best lines.
    Sometimes words of appreciation cannot qualify for the feelings inside.
    Somethings are better left unsaid. πŸ™‚
    It is now.

  4. Miss Maqsood says:

    Love it! You have penned my thoughts. Seriously.
    He is so loving; Al-Wadood and Ar-Raheem. Without Him we are nothing. Love Him. And I love you for His sake and may He keep loving and forgiving us. Aameen πŸ™‚

    • randomlyabstract says:

      Aameen.
      And thank you! Glad that you loved it, glad that you could relate.
      He is Al-Wadood, Ar-Raheem, but we actually forget it all on purpose, by dragging self into deep, ugly holes of negativity. And He comes back and provides rest to our otherwise resltess ousls, listens to us, loves us.
      Read this by Wajahat, you’ll love it.
      And hey I love you too! Love the lines ‘I love you for His sake and may He keep loving and forgiving us’. πŸ™‚

  5. Moniba says:

    Criticism: the verb of advice is advise. And it’s not a dust can, it’s a dust pan. Or a trash can.
    Comment: The concept of a rotten rose is intriguing to say the least. I love your emotions in this poem.

  6. fahaad humayun says:

    oh so you are a teenager πŸ˜›

    and I think I never received I hate you. Or my weak memory deceives me.

    • randomlyabstract says:

      Jazakillah, and salam. I had forgotten this one and I don’t know how you found this but reading this again made me realize how much I needed to do so. Thank you for your comment and thank you for visiting! πŸ™‚

      • miss.mysterious says:

        Waeeyak!
        Wsalam ^.^
        I found your blog when I found https://shewritescrazy.wordpress.com/ :3 and then I just randomly read alot of posts on both your blogs.

        I really liked all your posts! Your descriptions are ahmazing and the way you put the pics with everything that goes very well! And Masha Allah you write in Urdu very well!
        I think you are a very beautiful person. πŸ˜€
        I have a friend her name is also Maria and she also has a blog https://girlwiththegreenbook.wordpress.com/ you can check it when you have the time. πŸ˜›

        Ive blabbered so much.hehe πŸ˜› so anyway…
        Keep writing and keep smiling! ❀

        • randomlyabstract says:

          That’s so sweet of you! THANK YOU. ❀ I am glad you like all of that. Glad you read through, glad you left such wonderful feedback. πŸ˜€

          I just checked your friend's blog and I am so delighted. We share our birthday months too. πŸ˜‰ Definitely gonna read her things. :3

          Thank you again for your kind words, hoping to see you around. πŸ™‚ Maria

          • miss.mysterious says:

            No actually…Thank you πŸ˜€ for writing so wonderfully!
            I sure am glad to have found your blog.:P Alot of your posts are thought provoking and I adore that fact!

            Welcome ^.^ Sure Ill be here and there on this blog.
            In Sha Allah since its summer Ill have time to read.

          • miss.mysterious says:

            Awh ^.^ Ill share your blog link to another blogger friend of mine. :3
            https://tinkererofwords.wordpress.com/
            I do write πŸ˜€ but not at the level you are. πŸ˜›
            I dont have a blog . :3

            Hey give me a link to something that you felt was the most unique post on your blog. (:
            There is so much to read here,I read random things. πŸ˜„

          • randomlyabstract says:

            You’ve got some cool friends. πŸ˜€ We in our friend circle, like mostly from school, are same. Matlab we love literature and the sort… So anyway. You doooooooo write! Why don’t you blog? Is there any way I can read your stuff? [Even your name is a mystery to me.] xD

            Hey give me a link to something that you felt was the most unique post on your blog. (:

            Ummmm. You might like mess and I personally feel close to Kashkol , and finally there’s fireworks. Though I can’t guarantee you’d like even one of these but random they are, yes. πŸ˜„

          • miss.mysterious says:

            Hehe yes Alhamdulillah πŸ™‚
            My friends are I are same in many ways and unique in many others. πŸ˜€
            Yes I do write :3 I don’t know recently have been thinking about it but I think I MIGHT find it hard to manage with my studies and I MIGHT get lazy my lil sis has been pushing me to start a blog πŸ˜„ but Idon’tknow..? πŸ˜›
            Yes sure I can email you if you like. πŸ™‚ Yeah let some things be a mystery. πŸ˜›

            I’ll check those out. πŸ˜€

          • randomlyabstract says:

            Listen to your lil sis. :3 Start a blog, wordpress is a cool host. You’ll enjoy it as long as you stick to the ‘writing freely’ rule, pakka.

            YES, email me. I would say send them on Facebook but someone has to keep privacy, so… :p magnanimmous_m@hotmail.com (Don’tcha make fun of the old class email id, I’m gonna make a better one soon xD)

        • miss.mysterious says:

          In Sha Allah I…might…maybe….soon..?
          Yes I know WP seems cool. (:
          Ohoo nahi bhai I love the word magnanimous πŸ˜„

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