Demented in Diaries.

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Diaries were her favorite possessions. Especially that mauve colored, thick, velvety diary. It was more special to her than anything else in the world, as she once told me.

Beginning to write in a brand new diary appears to be one of the most difficult tasks in the world, and we both agreed to that. Because one must seriously consider what use that lovable creature could bring, they after all were divine things. After a considerable amount of time she had finally decided what her object would collect; she will write her daily musings and personal rants into it. She will call it her ‘personal journal’, her ‘dear diary’.

All these years I had never seen her open herself into anybody else but her dd, she trusted only it. Nobody could ever believe it if they were told, that it were only a simple set of pages that she adorn too much. But I could, for I knew what significance those pages held for her. I was a diary-lover myself.

I was. I am no more. Because I shudder when I reminisce her dreadful demise.

It was one windy winter night, a December night to be exact, when the ‘dementor’ in her destroyed it cruelly. A strong jab from a sharp knife pierced the velvety mauve cover from the middle; and the dark purple ribbon that was tied in a bow with a tiny purple sequin was torn. But that single stab wasn’t enough. Her wild self called her to selfishly avenge each page, for having stored her prettiest of memories. Like a hypnotized victim did she obey, and individually tore every single page, scratched harshly some lines on her favorite poems and cut stupidly each name that she once wrote lovingly. What couldn’t be destroyed with knife or pen was rubbed by hand, for she was destined to erase it all and not leave a single sign.

It was after some long minutes struggle, or perhaps some hours time that she finally recovered and her demented soul crashed – And for the next more hours she sobbed silently in a corner of her room. Her thunderous screams had by now converted themselves into soft, muffled sobs and her spirited energy had collapsed into a helpless, clueless person.

She had called me that day, and yet she never spoke. I kept on asking what the matter was but all my efforts had gone in vain. She had promised not to speak and she kept to it, and she kept to it such that she didn’t even allow herself to ask her anything else. What, when, or how it had happened, she knew not. And her silence only murdered what ever part of her was left, for the next day I witnessed her death.

It won’t be wrong to say that she was obsessed with ‘diaries’ because there was nobody else that she could care for. The pure soul she was deserved not a single gift of heartache. When I entered into her room the other day I could see what had happened there. Others can not even imagine what that night must have been, but I had a chance to actually sense it because that is what she left there for me to feel, herself.

Beneath her crumpled, torn-apart pages lied fragments of her unhappy life; from her ugly days to her poignant nights and all those unbearably torturous moments that came between the phases of day and night, all laid there but now dead. Dead as she was.

Tears blocked my vision as I saw her coffined body in the spacious lawn outside, how peacefully did she imitate herself to be. Her nonliving body rested uncomfortably for sure, but she had postured it such to pretend calmness, calm that she never was. A bright smile decorated her white face, and made them all praise how peacefully she had gone! Oh how peacefully, please ask me.

They lifted her away in no time, some faked hysterical cries and some really did weep. But it wasn’t long after she had gone that they all prepared to leave too, oh how they loved her.

I was left alone there, and so I entered into her room again. But all those pieces had disappeared, those pages were all gone! However it didn’t shock me, for I knew that had to happen. Dementors of self are the dementors of worst kinds.

Her purple bow-ribbon was surprisingly still there, perhaps they had forgotten to hide it. While I quickly turned to pick it up, what astonished me was an untouched, whole page from her diary close by! Mixed emotions of fear and fulfillment ran down my spine but alas! I failed to move an inch towards it for my feet had stuck to the floor.

I wasn’t asked what I wanted to do, and it was made clear that I could only return if I never dared to touch it. So I took my steps backward and left the room with a heavy heart, forever.

Β© 2013 Maria Imran *Randomly Abstract*.

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29 thoughts on “Demented in Diaries.

  1. Pamela says:

    but she had postured it such to pretend calmness, calm that she never was…
    this makes it seem almost like a real thing and not like a story..
    THIS is the power of a true storyteller- you.
    To mesmerize, to hypnotize and to leave behind the readers wondering, “was it a story or was it not?”

  2. White Pearl says:

    This was truly magical…. Why am I feeling magic everywhere ? πŸ˜‰
    So wonderfully written…very beautiful words…very beautiful rhythm and flow…. Love it !
    Felt curious and suspense too….. I never could have known till the end that it was fiction…. I can write true stories but I don’t have the art to write fiction 😦 I hope I learn it someday.

    • randomlyabstract says:

      Trust me it wasn’t. It was true. Every single word of it.
      And I am lying. It was fiction.

      Why am I feeling magic everywhere ? πŸ˜‰
      Haha I have no idea. Probably magic lies in the eyes of the beholder too?. =p

      And thank youuu!! I am very glad that you read it, and liked it enough to leave your feedback. *bliss*

    • Mani says:

      @ Pearl: Its the same type of fiction that you write budhu … No fiction can be this … well you know … without a mix of reality and truth … !!! 😦

      @Random: Yaar ye ameer khana bhi bohot ajeeb hai … kabhi kabhi to bohot kush kar deta hai … πŸ˜€ aur kabhi kabhi bohot udaas … meri dili duain … for that girl … May Allah Pak shower his blessings upon her … grant her heart peace, love and profoundness … Such people can be revived with Love, dedication and commitment … but thats my believe !!!

      Stay Blessed …!!!

  3. rjl2727 says:

    despite what seems like a lot of comments about your technical use of language, which is fine enough for a strictly english-speaking reader, it is a beautiful and horrifying piece. i was not sure when i finished it was a true story, or an expression of your own inner turmoil. new diaries are like turning to a blank page after finishing one poem and being afraid of what or how the next might write itself. excellent!

  4. RosePoet says:

    “Dementors of self are the dementors of worst kinds.”
    The demons of the mind that come to plague one during moments of insecurity and self-doubt know one so intimately their knife always creates a fatal wound.

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