Supreme sovereign, save me! save me!
From hither I pray leave to come to thee!
This journey has me tired.
It ruined me what I desired.
Now I only ask you to set me free.
This is my first attempt at writing a limerick, and it’s only the very basic form of it. The rhyming scheme is a a b b a, and the theme followed is that of a “journey“.
Thomas Cole (American, 1801 – 1848 ), The Voyage of Life: Manhood, 1842, oil on canvas, Ailsa Mellon Bruce Fund.
Randomly Abstract 
Nice job! 🙂 I loved your limerick and looking at the photo helped me get a sense of the story… and it made go, ‘Ah…’
Thank you so much! It was the painting and its analysis which sounded so true to me at this state that inspired me to write such. I am glad you like it! ♥
A good first attempt, but with limericks the rhythm is just as important as the rhyme.
Take this example from my mis-spent childhood (Mrs Young was a 2nd grade teacher at my primary school).
What’s the problem with old Mrs Young?
She talks like she’s missing a lung
She rants like a loon
through a face like a prune
And her breath smells like rancid pig’s dung.
The syllable count for lines 1,2 and 5 need to be almost the same, as does the count for lines 3 and 4. Lines 3 and 4 need to be short and punchy – eight syllables max but five is better.
Traditionally limericks are humorous, with the strongest joke saved for the last line. Of course they don’t have to be funny but I still think they work better if the last line is the most impactful.
I hope you don’t mind me lecturing like this, but I figure since you’re just starting to learn limericks you might want to know.
You are right.
Actually, we were given a specific theme (journey), a form, and an additional poetic device to include for this challenge. With that, we were allowed to twist a bit and create something personal. So to be honest, I think I focused more on bringing the aabba format and not on what it technically requires. The syllable count you tell is new to me on which I am going to work next time. Hopefully, it will be better than this one. :3
Thank you ever so much for your help, cabrogal. It means much to me!
Hmm. ‘Journey’, eh?
OK, I’ll take a crack at it.
I really can’t think of a poem
That speaks of the places I roam
I never depart
Without packing my heart
So wherever I am is my home
Wow, I wrote a limerick without a single swearword, insult or lame joke!
You must be a good influence on me Maria.
That limerick was really a response to that idiot who left his heart in San Francisco. I mean, how absent-minded can you get?
He probably left his liver in Liverpool, his kidneys in Sydney and his spleen in New Orleans. I wonder what he left in Newcastle.
I’d hate to be one of the maids who has to clean his hotel rooms.
Wow, man. This is so utterly beautiful. *-*
Sir, you wrote one after like forty years. That’s double victory!
On reflection, I reckon the best syllable count for limericks is 8-9-5-5(or 6)-8(or 9).