Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

An ode to the place in my imagination I cannot capture in words.

You keep me alive.

I struggle to pull you out from my mind and in letters mention

So to retrieve from subconscious this perturbing suspension.

 

To give you life I strive.

Clinging to the planets of an unconnected galaxy,

I get to spy your most mystical majesty.

 

Like a boat adrift but not lost

Sometimes, a warming flame in frost

You are laughter, pain, rain, darkness and sound

You are everything I am without border or bound

Perhaps a dream to be kept, or what will once come out

You are the only destiny I will ever care about.

 

(In response to writing 201 challenge which asked us to write an ode using metaphors on places only we knew, a special route, or a space we wish to inhabit. On “map”. I used this chance to write about this one thing I cannot write about. It’s something that is, but is not, and is real yet so far it is almost unreachable. A place I cannot map in my mind but one I cherish nevertheless. Poetry format: Pindaric. Rhyme scheme is abb–acc–ddeeff.)

33 responses

  1. The poem is good… but brings me to a philosophical question…πŸ˜›
    What would you do when you reach the place of your dreams? As in… once such a perfect situation is met… isn’t there nothing left to do? Doesn’t that make a person… dead?

    October 10, 2015 at 1:15 am

    • Maybe it’s so big it doesn’t end.
      Life and possibilities are infinite, no?

      October 11, 2015 at 8:53 pm

  2. The flow of your ode is impeccable.πŸ™‚

    October 10, 2015 at 1:25 am

    • Thank you so much!❀ Your feedback means a lot.

      October 11, 2015 at 3:24 pm

  3. Amazing poem! I loved reading it, it flowed wellπŸ™‚

    October 10, 2015 at 1:58 am

    • Oh hey, I am so glad you stopped by! Thank you for your kind comment.

      October 11, 2015 at 3:27 pm

  4. Great poem! Love the flow. I especially like the “warming flame in frost”, it sounds intriguing.

    October 10, 2015 at 4:29 am

  5. Hi Maria.. i think the whole
    purpose of life.. is for us
    to become our own
    ministers of Truth
    and Light..
    and as
    we
    grow
    older if
    Freedom
    plays True..
    this Light becomes
    brighter as God’s Truth
    Manifest in us as children of
    LiGht..:)

    October 10, 2015 at 8:54 am

    • That’s a lot of wisdom wrapped up there, I think.
      For us to become our own ministers of Truth and Light. Sounds true.πŸ™‚ Thank you for your comment!

      October 11, 2015 at 8:59 pm

  6. The poem reaches, as used to be said in the ’60s. I also enjoy the way you describe your process, especially during and after the writing. Thank you!

    October 10, 2015 at 11:43 am

    • Thank you so much! Reading that it reached like they used to be said in the ’60s made me feel like my work here in writing a pindaric ode paid off. I am so glad you enjoyed it.

      October 11, 2015 at 9:35 pm

  7. Wonderfully written❀
    Do you know… Every time I comment on one of your poems, I find myself thinking, it seems to be this, but perhaps it isn't so. Perhaps this isn't what she meant. Perhaps it's not supposed to be beautiful or wonderful. Perhaps there's so much pain or chaos behind it, that calling it just beautiful or wonderful would be blatant injustice.

    October 10, 2015 at 4:33 pm

  8. There are layers to your poetry. I read this poem yesterday a few times and I’ve read it again just now, and every time I could discern something new. I don’t know how you do it.

    October 10, 2015 at 8:09 pm

  9. Hiba

    These days Maria, I’m mostly just speechless when I read your posts.
    This piece feels quite unique to me.
    Very well written 😊

    October 11, 2015 at 3:54 pm

    • Hibaaa, thank you. Like dhair sara thank you.
      And just so you know, I loved your comment on Sauces #2. I could never reply to it because I didn’t know what to say. But you can accept a❀ for it?
      Khi anay ka kia scene hua? I need to catch up on your blog posts too. Matlab I don't even know kia sab..

      October 11, 2015 at 9:47 pm

      • Hiba

        Oh it’s alright, MariaπŸ™‚
        And I’ll stay another year in Kuwait and then we’ll move to Karachi for some time. We’ll return to Kuwait though I think. We don’t want our residence to end cause once it ends for Pakistanis, you can’t be allowed back in. Visas are closed for Pakistanis, you see…😦

        October 12, 2015 at 6:02 pm

        • Oh acha. Got it. Soo, okay, it’s next year then iA?πŸ™‚ How’s everything else going? Parhai and stuff?

          October 12, 2015 at 6:14 pm

          • Hiba

            Everything’s going well. I’ll have my final exams in May next year. I haven’t started preparing yet cause I don’t have the books yet. I’ll have em within a week or so insha Allah, so I’ll be busy with studies soon.
            Otherwise things are well except of course since I’m naturally attracted to reading about social injustices in societies everywhere and I end up frustrated a lot of times.
            Do you have a tumblr, Maria?
            I have and it’s filled with a lot of unfiltered thoughts, be they about books or politics or music or feminism or humor or Harry Potter fandom or photography or art or whatever else.
            I enjoy it thoroughly.
            It’s quite a different type of blogging experience you know.
            Any way how are things with you? Parhai and stuff?πŸ˜‰

            October 16, 2015 at 5:24 pm

          • May next year is soo far, man. I have my papers in November and I haven’t started yet.
            Alhamdulillah that things are well. Yahan bhi they’re okay.πŸ™‚
            I do have a tumblr though it’s more like a private site I made to record things this year but I am not much active there. I would love to know yours! Feminism and humor and HP stuff plus photography? That sounds precious. Why didn’t you share this before? :p

            October 22, 2015 at 9:06 pm

          • Hiba

            It’s far but I haven’t begun preparing yet:/
            Best of luck for November though, that’s really just around the corner…
            My tumblr is just-a-name-out-there.tumblr.com πŸ™‚
            Have nice exams, Maria.

            October 23, 2015 at 6:54 am

          • Well, your tumblr is AWESOME!

            October 31, 2015 at 8:14 pm

          • Hiba

            Is it? Thanks but what’s your url?

            October 31, 2015 at 8:35 pm

  10. Lovely!

    October 11, 2015 at 11:50 pm

  11. You deleted a fabulous post?😦

    October 13, 2015 at 1:53 am

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