drowning

Everyone’s crazy around here
Mouths agape — as if a half-laugh was pasted there,
Only that they are not laughing; just walking, arms spread in an L
Like zombies.

And you are saying “sorry”

I want to ask you what it is about,
I look at you even
But this is so much and I cannot concentrate enough.

I have to run,
Maybe to save myself, maybe to save what Is within…
But their hands are reaching towards me
And your sorry—
Your soft, gentle, dripping-with-venom sorry—
Red drips when you say it, floods in when I see them

This narrow, bright corridor is closed
I am standing with my knees in red which is sticky and feels
Petrifying.
Maybe I could fall and wake up somewhere else?
But it’s already so much and I – I can’t know

I see skulls for people now
The voices are still the same
Except with an addition of a swish swash of red waves
So now they are all chattering together, calling my name,
You are saying sorry,
Nobody is laughing but it feels like everyone is
And I am alone in the crowd, trying and not trying to escape
And this not-trying is drowning me.

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5 thoughts on “drowning

  1. accidentallyinked says:

    And this not-trying is drowning me.
    What an ending!!
    Maybe to save myself, maybe to save what Is within… <- best part!
    If you read and your head keeps making images out of each part, this is scary and strong.

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