Bohat arsay baad aik nazm likhnay lagi thi. Balkay likhnay kia lagi thi, wo nazm hi mujhay likh rahi thi. Unwaan tha ‘be-dili’. Aur phir pehla misra tumhe be-dili se sochnay par tha. Uskay bad aik khayal ata lekin shaam ke dhal janay aur khuwab ke ban janay ka darr… agay aik lafz kam reh gaya. Jo cigarette ka sar hota hai na? Usay masalna tha. Lekin na lafz aya na baat bani. Hath jo kehtay kehtay uper utha tha phir hawa me hi reh gaya. Bhai ne dekh kar poocha, “you are in love, right?” Mai munh bana ke reh gai.
I am in love, right? Duh I’m in love. With what, I don’t know. I am so disconnected from myself, or maybe I’m just so connected with myself that I’ve lost the ability to touch on the surface of things (or thoughts?) and say this is this and that is that. I can’t say these words are true. I can’t say they are not. I don’t know.
Kuch zamana beeta hai mai araam se nazmen likh sakti thi. Araam se tou nahi khair, jahan shairi hai wahan aaraam kahan. Magar phir bhi kabhi na kabhi. Aik khaas kefiyat hoti thi. Aisay tou mai pehlay kitabain bhi bohat parh leti thi ab arsa hua.
I just cannot. I haven’t read a proper book in a proper sitting like a proper reader since ages. The last was All the light we cannot see which is now in my taaaaaall pile of unfinished ones. I did translate a huge chapter though. It was on Islam and science and reason and modernism and everything like that. A good experience – both in terms of subject and skill.
It’s gonna be sehri time here. I made a fruit-oatmeal smoothie yesterday jiska oatmeal part no one liked and smoothie they all did. Lol. I heard it was healthy like that but I guess I’ll omit the oatmeal now.
Nah, I’m not much of a kitchen person. But it’s Ramadan, so… oh, happy Ramadan to you!
15 thoughts on “Diary of a 3:12 AM-er”
Happy ramzan 🙂
Happy Ramadhan to you too! You know what, whatever you wrote was so beautiful. I mean the depth of emotion, man. I wish you could write that nazm. Here’s one tiny soul wishing she could read it. Funny, tho. Wanting to read unwritten works! Anyways. Let me wait for iftaari now.
Hashtag best comment ever? Thank you so much, that was really sweet. Maybe, for this tiny soul wishing she could read it, I will try again. ❤s.
(Waiting for iftaaar: SAEM)
I shall be waiting then! For the iftaar. I meant the nazm. Roza’s gettin’ to my head.
Haha yeah. May it be worth the wait. You know, the iftaar. Or, uh, the nazm. (no but really do we have samosas today?)
Umm. Samosas. Sure bring them over.
Hiba hiba. ❤ Thank you.
You I relate to. And I love you.
I like the blog’s look btw. Been long since I last visited. I do read what you write but mostly in my email.
Yep. too long. hello, first one. i would say mebay but i think nae… you no be mebay. where are we?
I no be mebay? Why not?! Where are we is actually sth I keep wondering these days too. So where are we?
Maybe we’ll know when we meet on Eid..inshaAllah.