2018, Urdu musings

Teri Chahat

ایک آپ کی چاہت ہے اللہ جی۔  میری چاہت بنتی ہے تو کونپل، سمٹتی ہے پھر گہرا کنول۔  پھوار پڑتی ہے پھر گویا اوس پڑ جاتی ہے۔  سوکھے کانٹے گرنے لگتے ہیں اللہ جی دل تو گوشت کا ٹکڑا ہے، سہار نہیں پاتا۔  دیکھتے ہی دیکھتے میری چاہت پر سنؔاٹا چھا جاتا ہے جیسے پھول کنویں میں جا پڑا ہو۔  کبھی بعد میں، اتنے بعد میں کہ کنویں کی دیواروں کے کان ترس گئے ہوں، آواز آتی ہے: ’یہ میری چاہت ہے خدایا۔  میری چاہت سن لیجیے لیکن صرف تب۔ ۔ ۔‘ اور یہاں تک آ کر پھر سے پھوار پڑتی ہے۔  یکایک موسلادھار بارش۔  کنویں کی دیواریں گونج اٹھتی ہیں۔  ’صرف تب خدایا جب اس میں تیری چاہت بھی شامل ہو۔‘

Aik Aap ki chahat hai Allah ji. Meri chahat banti hai tou konpal, simat’ti hai phir gehra kanwal. Phuwaar parti hai phir goya ous parr jati hai. Sookhay kaantay girnay lagtay hai Allah ji dil tou gosht ka tukrra hai, sahaar nahi pata. Dekhtay hi dekhtay meri chahat par sannaata chhaa jata hai jesay phool kunwain me ja parra ho. Kabhi baad me, itnay baad me ke kunwain ki deewaron ke kaan taras gaye hun, awaz ati hai: “Ye meri chahat hai Khudaya. Meri chahat sun lejiye lekin sirf tab…” Aur yahan aa kar phir se phuwar parti hai. Yakayak mosla dhaar baarish. Kunwain ki deewarain gonj uthti hain. “Sirf tab ya Khudaya jab is me Teri chahat bhi shamil ho.”

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2017, Passages

Dua//Mangnay wala aur Denay wala

Dua ke maamlay me mai aam musalmanon ki tarah bohat ehmaq waqay hua hun. Na janay kyun dua maangtay waqt meray dil ki gehraiyun se ye khayal ubharta hai ke dua suntay waqt Allah taala sank baksh moulvi sahab ka roop dhaar letay hain, pehlay wo naak par romaal rakh letay hain phir hath me aik chimti pakar letay hain phir gandi, ghaleez, hawas-bhari aur na-jaaiz duaon ko is chimti se utha utha kar door phaink detay hain. Phir naak se romaal hataty hain. Chimti aik taraf rakh detay hain aur haath dho kar bachi kuchi saaf suthri duaon ka jaaiza letay hain. In me se bhi na-maaqool duain nikaal kar phaink detay hain aur phir baqya duaon ko aik taraf rakh detay hain ke fursat ke waqt in par ghor karain gay.

La shaoor me rachay basay huay is aitebaar ki waja se mujh aisay aam gunahgaar musalmanon ne na tou kabhi dua ke mafhoom ko samjha hai, na maangnay ke fail ko jaan hai aur na qubool karnay wali ki azmat ka raaz paya hai.

Meri apni halat ye hai ke dua ke liye hath uthanay se pehlay sochta hun ke kaheen mai itna tou maang raha ke denay walay pe bojh ho jaye? Kaheen aisi cheez tou nahi maang raha jo na-jaaiz hai, jo ghaleez hai, jis me gunaah ka ansar maujood hai. Kaheen is dua se meri taba’i hawas ka bhaid tou nahi khulta? Phir mai arz karta hun ke Ya Allah! Mai harees nahi hun, mai tujh se ziada nahi maangta. Sirf utna maang raha hun jis ki mujhay ashadd zaroorat hai aur jisay dena teray liye baar na hoga.

 

Is ke sath hi meray dil se aik halki si aawaaz aati hai. Itni halki si ke suni nahi ja sakti:

“Ya Allah! Dekh le, mai kitna acha aadmi hun. Mai ne tujh par bojh nahi daala Mai ne aisi dua nahi maangi ke tujhay naak par romaal rakhna paray, chimti uthani paray. Ya Allah dekh le aisi dua maang kar mai ne tujh par kitna ehsaan kia hai?” Continue reading

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2013, By the roaring waves!, This and That

Peace.

Sitting by the window, eyes busy wandering from here to there and
there to here; and thoughts running wildly between fields and hills and
mountains. A deep dive into that ocean and another swim into that other.
All wet.
Soaked outside, yet torn, parched, unmoist lips show no signs to reflect.
Tears! Tears fill up those sea-blue eyes and obscure vision, lumps gather
in throat, yet none of the divine drop falls, not a single sound escapes.
Nothing happens, and ‘nothingness’ is attained. In those split seconds of grief,
of utmost grief, and of those supreme painful moments does God appears.
And when God appears, peace takes charge. Or when ‘nothingness’ seeps,
Nothing Else Remains.

BELOW is what a friend Yamna Farrukh responded with, after she read A Rotten Rose. She says she felt the same way:

Sometimes..
He really surprises me.
I know I’ve been bad..
I am even afraid to read His book!
Wondering If He’ll tell me about
The kuffaar!
About the Munafiqeen..
About hell..
I’m afraid to read it.
But then,
He surprises me!
He knows my weaknesses..
How I always fall for it..
He knows I’m scared, ashamed..
Yet still he wants to guide me..
He tells me, ‘You can always repent’
He says He knows I’m just a human.
I make sins, I repent.
And sin, and repent.
He tells me, that He loves me.
That He can forgive me.
He is Al-Wadood, Al-Ghafoor
Al-Rehmaan, Al-Raheem..
He finally says that every rose counts!
Even a wilting rose can blossom again!

That's for you!

That’s for you!

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By the roaring waves!

Eid Mubarak!

The blissful day of Eid is a blessing of God for all Muslims who fasted in the month of Ramadhan. This is the day for which everybody is excited,from toddlers to wrinkled – poor to rich!This is the day when all discrimination, all woes and worries and enmities are forgotten and all hearts sing merrily-the praise of Almighty!

Today Eid-ul-fitr is being celebrated with full swing in all Muslim countries!The beatitude and euphoria makes each heart happy. Hugs and caresses are spread to deliver the message of love! The night before Eid, popularly known as Chand Raat is the night when Almighty judges our deeds and blesses people who fasted during Ramadhan! On this night,there is a huge traffic in shops where women tend to buy elegant dresses,fragnant perfumes and appealing jewellery!

My Eid day started early in the morning when every nook and corner of the house was cleaned and decorated. Then new dresses were worn, with matching accessories. And then, some guests arrived with whom we enjoyed pretty much!Afterwards we went to our neighbours to wish them the blissful day (and receive eidi!!).Later I will go to  my grandmother’s house and I hope I will enjoy alot there!

Alot of more festivities and enjoyments are hoped for the upcoming hours..

EID MUBARAK TO YOU ALL!

~Stay blessed~

p.s. I did copy most of the part from my Eid blog of last year, but you know, Eids are more or less, always same!

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