2018, My Writings, raw and rough, Urdu musings

Diary of a 3:12 AM-er

Bohat arsay baad aik nazm likhnay lagi thi. Balkay likhnay kia lagi thi, wo nazm hi mujhay likh rahi thi. Unwaan tha ‘be-dili’. Aur phir pehla misra tumhe be-dili se sochnay par tha. Uskay bad aik khayal ata lekin shaam ke dhal janay aur khuwab ke ban janay ka darr… agay aik lafz kam reh gaya. Jo cigarette ka sar hota hai na? Usay masalna tha. Lekin na lafz aya na baat bani. Hath jo kehtay kehtay uper utha tha phir hawa me hi reh gaya. Bhai ne dekh kar poocha, “you are in love, right?” Mai munh bana ke reh gai.

I am in love, right? Duh I’m in love. With what, I don’t know. I am so disconnected from myself, or maybe I’m just so connected with myself that I’ve lost the ability to touch on the surface of things (or thoughts?) and say this is this and that is that. I can’t say these words are true. I can’t say they are not. I don’t know.

Kuch zamana beeta hai mai araam se nazmen likh sakti thi. Araam se tou nahi khair, jahan shairi hai wahan aaraam kahan. Magar phir bhi kabhi na kabhi. Aik khaas kefiyat hoti thi. Aisay tou mai pehlay kitabain bhi bohat parh leti thi ab arsa hua.

I just cannot. I haven’t read a proper book in a proper sitting like a proper reader since ages. The last was All the light we cannot see which is now in my taaaaaall pile of unfinished ones. I did translate a huge chapter though. It was on Islam and science and reason and modernism and everything like that. A good experience – both in terms of subject and skill.

It’s gonna be sehri time here. I made a fruit-oatmeal smoothie yesterday jiska oatmeal part no one liked and smoothie they all did. Lol. I heard it was healthy like that but I guess I’ll omit the oatmeal now.

Nah, I’m not much of a kitchen person. But it’s Ramadan, so… oh, happy Ramadan to you!

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2017, Passages

Dua//Mangnay wala aur Denay wala

Dua ke maamlay me mai aam musalmanon ki tarah bohat ehmaq waqay hua hun. Na janay kyun dua maangtay waqt meray dil ki gehraiyun se ye khayal ubharta hai ke dua suntay waqt Allah taala sank baksh moulvi sahab ka roop dhaar letay hain, pehlay wo naak par romaal rakh letay hain phir hath me aik chimti pakar letay hain phir gandi, ghaleez, hawas-bhari aur na-jaaiz duaon ko is chimti se utha utha kar door phaink detay hain. Phir naak se romaal hataty hain. Chimti aik taraf rakh detay hain aur haath dho kar bachi kuchi saaf suthri duaon ka jaaiza letay hain. In me se bhi na-maaqool duain nikaal kar phaink detay hain aur phir baqya duaon ko aik taraf rakh detay hain ke fursat ke waqt in par ghor karain gay.

La shaoor me rachay basay huay is aitebaar ki waja se mujh aisay aam gunahgaar musalmanon ne na tou kabhi dua ke mafhoom ko samjha hai, na maangnay ke fail ko jaan hai aur na qubool karnay wali ki azmat ka raaz paya hai.

Meri apni halat ye hai ke dua ke liye hath uthanay se pehlay sochta hun ke kaheen mai itna tou maang raha ke denay walay pe bojh ho jaye? Kaheen aisi cheez tou nahi maang raha jo na-jaaiz hai, jo ghaleez hai, jis me gunaah ka ansar maujood hai. Kaheen is dua se meri taba’i hawas ka bhaid tou nahi khulta? Phir mai arz karta hun ke Ya Allah! Mai harees nahi hun, mai tujh se ziada nahi maangta. Sirf utna maang raha hun jis ki mujhay ashadd zaroorat hai aur jisay dena teray liye baar na hoga.

 

Is ke sath hi meray dil se aik halki si aawaaz aati hai. Itni halki si ke suni nahi ja sakti:

“Ya Allah! Dekh le, mai kitna acha aadmi hun. Mai ne tujh par bojh nahi daala Mai ne aisi dua nahi maangi ke tujhay naak par romaal rakhna paray, chimti uthani paray. Ya Allah dekh le aisi dua maang kar mai ne tujh par kitna ehsaan kia hai?” Continue reading

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2013, By the roaring waves!

Free atlast!

Heya people!

I was so busy with my exams that I missed blogging for quite a time (except when I just HAD to put the 11 May post) and now that my exams have ended and SUCH a monotonous and tiring schedule has reached its end, I’m back! 😀

These days have been so tiring, really! Our exams timetable had been so devised that there was just a day gap between each paper and that means that within like 10 days, we had to give 5 tough papers! And people like me who save for the end A LOT to study get practically killed. Physics, Maths and Chemistry are were my subjects and 10 to 11 chapters in each.

The study system here is very different than that used in the West. Well, the faculty I had chosen was Pre-Engineering which was a headache. Not really, but it was difficult in the days I was studying it through boring teacher lectures. And as soon as I began to study them comprehensively for exams, they appeared to me to be very interesting! But the irony was, that as soon as I found them interesting, the session had come to is end. 😉

Enough for the studies info, now that I’m done with these examinations, and am free, I plan to do the following:

  • Write blogs!
  • Write a novel. (Draft ready in my head)
  • Read many good books! (like the ones already stored in my closet and some to borrow from Moniba and yes, that one Amira told of, ‘Samir and Samira’ which I haven’t read yet!)
  • Teach some kids at some school.. (Always wanted to be a teacher, though not sure if this is happening..)
  • Learn to use oil-paints perfectly and make a huge painting.
  • Write poetries on general topics in a brand new diary. (i.e. buy a diary first 😉 )
  • Oh to help my siblings in their studies. IMPORTANT.
  • Cook food!!!
  • Join a summer course somewhere.
  • Days spending at grandmother’s house and as she says, getting sewing classes from her! (which I’m not getting to be good at, but there’s nothing wrong in giving a try!)
  • What else? Watch television, play games, and go through all my old stuff..!

Would love to know your suggestions too! 🙂

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Time to spread my wings and take a flight ♄

-Maria.

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2013, Book Reviews, By the roaring waves!

Bookfairs are heavenly awesome!

So excited to have those two books from the bookfair held in my college! The fair was EXCELLENT! Because its just SO cool to be surrounded by numerous books in all variety. From literature to poetry, to drama and novels, research books and guides, politics and religion, ALL that you could LOVE!

Im going to write about them later when I read them because I just can’t find much time and there are still packed new in my drawer! I am having a tough schedule these days so I haven’t started them as yet. But I am sure they are going to be VERY interesting 🙂

Okay, so the first book is English, the other in Urdu. The first is Honeymoon in Purdah and the other one is Qasam uss Waqt ki. Honeymoon in Purdah is a travelogue; a beautifully written Iranian journey, by Alison Wearing. This is its review by Amazon.com and Goodreads.com :

With a love of travel, Alison Wearing invites us to journey with her to Iran–a country that few Westerners have a chance to see. Traveling with a male friend, in the guise of a couple on their honeymoon, Wearing set out on her own at every available opportunity. She went looking for what lay beneath the media’s representation of Iran and found a country made up of welcoming, curious, warmhearted, ambitious men and women. With humor and compassion, Wearing gives Iranians the chance to wander beyond headlines and stereotypes, and in doing so, reveals the poetry of their lives–those whose lives extend beyond Western news stories of kidnapping, terrorism, veiled women, and Islamic fundamentalism.

So far, so good. I really wonder if I would ever travel to MY most favorite places and earn memories of such kind hosts. Iranians, beside all what the media brings, are very nice people and that is exactly what the novel portrays. <read reviews here>

‘Qasam uss Waqt ki’ is by Abu Yahya and this story is the second part of ‘Jab Zindagi Shuru Hogi’. Thats a great book too, very well-described. Very interesting. Very grasping. It’s a book about the life hereafter- the life after life.

Other books that I jotted the names of but didn’t buy are:

  • Indian Controversies. by Arun Shourie 
  • Escape from Oblivion. by Ikram Sehgal

One of these is Indian, and the other Pakistani. They both looked quite interesting and I am going to fetch them later!

So there- what’s your favorite book?

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Don’t you ♄ them too?

 

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Book Reviews, By the roaring waves!

One of the most AMAZING books I’ve ever read!

There is this novel that I just recently read and well, I’d say it’s my favorite! I know I usually say this about books that overwhelm me, but this one is ACTUALLY REALLY good and will always have a special place in my heart even when I’ve read more favorite books.

This book– it taught me so many things that I wish everyone would know. It’s miraculous, it’s beautiful, and it’s something that touches soul. Mus’haf is the name.

What is it about? Well, it’s about another book. And how it tells this is actually intriguing and there’s no way not loving it. Your past, present and your future it reveals– it’s a book about you!

The story revolves around Mehmil Ibrahim’s life and family and on finding solace. Love, secrets, and betrayal. It’s just it.

(Update 2015: This isn’t a proper review at ’cause this book is so much more but I was so overwhelmed and stuff that I had to write it.)

(Oh and yes, a very blissful and happy New Year to all Muslims)! 🙂

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Book Reviews, By the roaring waves!

The Secrets Of The Secret Garden..

English Classic books have always interested me for their simple yet detailed descriptions of all the natural good things. This book that I just read is The Secret Garden, written by Frances Hodgson Burnett. It is THE most wonderful book that I can think of! (at least for now that I’m totally trapped in its magic;) )

The best thing in the novel which gets you all involved is the simplicity of every role. When you read this you are really travelling a smart journey, with curiosity and beauty at all your sides! There is friendship, and their is selfishness, and motherly love and gentle help, smiles and laughters and yes- one top secret of life. Which is mentioned in the end!;)

The Secret Garden is a book about a little girl Mary, aged ten. Like most of the classic books, this too starts with the death of the little girl’s parents. However, this was not too miserable for the girl because she never had got loved by her mother, an Indian MEM SAHIB who cared more of her parties and looks, rather than her only girl. 

So yes, the girl lived in India in a huge palace and since she was not cared too much from her mother, she was a responsibility of her AYAAHS (lady servants). That is why Mary was a very rude, selfish and arrogant girl. 

Mentioned in the first chapter only, there was a cholera and everybody except the little girl died. The girl when found, was sent to a cottage where some poor relatives looked after her, but soon sent her to her hometown in England to one of his uncle, Archibald Craven. That is where the real story begins..

Her uncle is a hunch-back and is a very lonely person who does not like to meet people since his beloved wife died. His enormous home has more than a hundred rooms, most of which are locked. The mysterious house has a lot of gardens too, and one of them is locked. Not only is it locked, but it has no door too. That is because it was the favorite garden of her uncle and his wife and they had planted every single detail of greenery and colors in their garden. Nobody was allowed to enter the garden, before or after.

So the girl somehow finds the key to the garden buried in earth, and a robin helps her find the hidden door behind ivy-covered walls. And then she enters into the secret garden! The story continues on how she along with her friend Dickon (who was Martha’s brother); an animal charmer and the best ‘angel’ on earth as Mary calls him, manages to bring life to the barren, grey place and make their efforts in planting seeds. Dickon was very fond of animals and the creatures were likewise fond of him. As Dickon was born on the moor, and had lived there all his life with his mother and about nine siblings or so in a small cottage, he was brought up to be a very wise and brave boy, who spoke broad Yorkshire. With their high hopes of bringing the garden back to life, they work hard and also, secretly.

Martha was a kind lady servant, who looked after Mary. She helped her understand how she had to change the way she was. The most mysterious character of the story was Colin, who was the only son of Mary’s uncle. Colin was always ill and he believed he would be a hunchback when he grew up. In fact  he believed he wont ever grow up, and that his life was only some more difficult years. His belief that he would die soon increased his ailment and he became an extremely snobby, depressed child.

when Mary gets to know about him, she makes friends with him and together with Dickon, show him the reality and the value of life. They manage to share the secret with him, and not only this, but also promise him a visit to the secret garden. In their own way of healing him, they bring animals in his room, explain to him the luxury of fresh air, and the beauty the nature beholds. The boy who had always been locked up in his own room out of his fears and ailment, soon begins to wonder what the secret garden would be like and wants to be taken there.

With Colin’s orders, the gardeners were sent away at the time he pleased (so that they don’t interfere in their secret) and Colin enters the amazing garden, which by now had been filled up with roses and silver-bells and ‘wilderness of autumn gold and purple and violet and flaming scarlet’. In few days time, he begins to heal and later, gives his tries to stand up and walk. Very soon after he discovered that there was no lump in his back and it was not crooked at all, he gives up his fear and starts feeling better.

Till the time his father returns, he had recovered completely, thanks to the MAGIC which set things right. His father who used to hate his son after his wife died, (and because he believed his Colin would grow up like him) was astonished and bewildered when he dramatically returns from abroad to his own Yorkshire and finds out his son in his secret garden. 

The best part of the story is this:

In each century since the beginning of the world wonderful things have been discovered. In the last century more amazing things were found out than in any century before. In this new century hundreds of things still more astounding will be brought to light. At first people refuse to believe that a strange new thing can be done, then they begin to hope it can be done, then they see it can be done-then it is done and all the world wonders why it was not done centuries ago. One of the new things people began to find out in the last century was that thoughts-just mere thoughts-are as powerful as electric batteries-as good for one as sunlight is, or as bad for one as poison. To let a sad thought or a bad one get into your mind is as dangerous as letting a scarlet fever germ get into your body. If you let it stay there after it has got in you may never get over it as long as you live.

– Story Review by  Maria Imran.

or RandomlyAbstract.

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By the roaring waves!

Back to Life:)

Hey people!!

My exams have finally ended and I have come back to life!! 🙂

The last ones were the toughest!! Maths, Phy-sick-s and Chem. But done with them now. actually the problem was, we had very little gap between each paper, which made it so difficult to cope up with. Thanks to the examiners.

Now that I am done with them, I will go at my cousin’s today for a night stay, tomorrow at a friend’s wedding, and then later God knows where! My sister’s wedding is coming up too, InshaAllah by the end of June, so I will have some events to enjoy!! =)

What else? I am planning to start a story and post it here on WP. but I am so not sure if I am doing that.

Lastly, I found this cool site and you might just like it as well:

www.sweetstuffcalledlove.tumblr.com

Ciao! Goodbye.

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