Memory hoarder (1)

Of course. What else would you expect from a December-born, all-feels Maria who is still writing on randomlyabstract, her blog of 8 years plus.

I remember the time we got these drawers made when we shifted to this house. It felt SO special, having a personal space. SO wow, you know. And then we got locks on them. I told the locksmith to do his best work on mine. I found it all so stunning that I kept sitting there, talking, looking, checking if mine was the best. (My lock got faulty before anyone else’s btw. Such luck!)

Khair. I used to be obsessed about that drawer and the stuff in it. I couldn’t throw things. Even today my family asks me before throwing away kachra that they think could be ‘useful’ for the crafter. But friends’ chit-chats, over-emotional letters of that time, Urdu poetry so sad I find it worrisome now, my personal personal personal diary that I would probably treat as a treasure then (because – let’s face it – I’ve been a sensitive kid. Also the middle daughter. I was convinced that I was hated by EVERYONE mashaAllah. And then I liked to write. Imagine having ALL of that still present despite the diary wanting to very much rest in peace now.) And then other things.

A lot of things, I imagine now, want to rest in peace. So I have brought out my drawer, one I had stopped caring for long long time ago, and started cleaning it. There’s stuff I put up on my insta stories as a last tribute, and for the other personal bunch, I know I cannot leave it so easily unless I’ve at least preserved them in writing. Which is why I am here.

1:20 AM

I do wish I could tell you about this but I dont know you.

We three are in some transition modes. Or like, some major life points. All three. Very different, some you would call more important than the other and youd be right. But dil hai na. Dil feels enough all the time. Like how they say about pain. Ke you cant say one suffered more than the other. I mean you can actually. But if you drop the comparison thing altogether…. then we can come to our second point:

We are all pretty empathetic. We dont blame each other. At least thats what I think and believe. About them too. So we give each other the space even when we need it so much but in our own spheres this all-of-it is hurting and messing up.

So I would know that I am hurting. But I also know theirs can be bigger in magnitude because of course. I think the thing is that we can’t all be with each other this time. We know it will settle but letting it settle like this is a lesson itself.

( We are unaware of each others background stories this time. Ideally we should be with amd without in it but realistically things run not like that. I edited to add this bit as well as cut one word from above. Because shit )

How fake am I? If I was head to toe fake, I would become unreal. And that isnt possible. So I am being hard on myself.

But in this world in this time, fake and real are so mixed up. Ethereal matters. You think your head is one and your heart another. Yo soul what was your game?

Things have of course changed.

My phones battery is low and I have an alarm set on it. Pity. I couldn’t even write about the important things. Such drama. And here I choose the title of this post. Or not.

I am not even thinking. Or am I?

half a string

On the third floor of the building, halfway through the long, long corridor were two connecting stairs. When we sat there, the sun was almost setting. We felt tired, and another mix of emotions with no particular name. A feeling of togetherness, a feeling of uncertainty, of hope, of struggle, of what it meant to us. Everything. It was like we were on one of the most important points in our respective lives, one that didn’t have much to do with the other — in fact, nothing — save for the fact that we were friends. And we were in it together.

We knew it was either a dream-come-true situation or nothing. We could have it, or we couldn’t. But there was also a third case.

“Maybe, it’s for only one of us. The other will return and later on say that they know it was for the best. They will sound very convincing, will ask you to actually believe them that they are content, that it doesn’t matter, that they’ve realised the wisdom behind ‘why not’…”

“But it won’t be true.”

“Yes, it cannot be. Know that deep down it will hurt them enough to never say a word about it. That something will shatter anyhow.” The same happened.

But there was also a fourth case.

Jo khaye wo pachtaye!

This is the last post in the Wedding Week series.

Lalarukh, the first most beautiful and noticeable thing about you, which I like a lot, is your name. And the second best thing I think, is your sincerity and creativity.

You once wrote how fake ‘I understand you’ type phrases are could be, and that one doesn’t actually need them because another doesn’t really understand. I agree with that. Nobody knows anybody very well, they don’t see where we come from, how we think, what we do. But the thing is, Lala, we’re all a bunch of readers and writers. And words are powerful creatures that crawl right inside without us knowing, or knowing still.

I wish for you the best as your ‘real events’ now begin. Have an exciting journey ahead, lots of best wishes and prayers sent your way. ♥

P.S. I wish this was a better last-post-type-thing but I’m almost out of words. Oh, Aiman has to say something:

So yes, may Allah bless you both and keep you people happy together, in the best of health, imaan, and everything.

نیک تمناٗوٗں کے ساتھ۔
ھمیشہ خوش رھئے۔
🙂

*sobs, sobs*
**some sad rukhsati songs in bg**
KEEP WRITING HAMESHA.
lotsoflove♥

Thank you all for being a part of this. Your support and presence made this week’s celebration possible. (:
Special thanks to Moniba for painting the header and helping me out in deciding the background, Rexie and Aiman for their beautiful poems, Arindam for his guest post, Sahil, Ahmed Usman, and Mani for the Reblogs and all those who commented, thank you for adding colors here!

Lalarukh! You look stunning!

[ Okay so, a totally flop way to start this but I don’t know how we do this, Lala. I remember making those daily count-down reminders and childish paintings on Samar’s wedding but that was that. This is this. (so wise, I know ^_^ ]

Alright, you’re supposed to blush bat bat pe and we girls are supposed to sit in a HUGE circle singing songs. That’s how we do it, no? And there’s all these mithaai for you:

They say that the best wedding tip is to realize that one person is always right. And the other is husband.

Summing up from your last post on Anger Management, I think you’re pretty good at this. So he’s truly blessed. ^_^

You’re a wonderful person over all: you’re kind at heart, beautiful inside out, and talented. So yes, like I said, he’s very lucky. 😉

And you’re lucky too. Because okay, where on earth

Lala’s Wedding Week

Hiiii.
You know Lala Rukh, don’t you? She’s one of the kindest, prettiest, super-awesome-st bloggers here on WordPress. 😉 And talented of course. NOBODY can write half as scary, romantic, poetic, or making-you-hungry-just-by-looking-at-them posts as her. 🙂

So she’s getting married.
And this is to let her know how truly special she is. You’re all invited to celebrate along *virtually* by sending in your wishes (and words) tomorrow: Sunday January 26th and hopefully this entire week!
Wear your best outfits, kay?

Free atlast!

Heya people!

I was so busy with my exams that I missed blogging for quite a time (except when I just HAD to put the 11 May post) and now that my exams have ended and SUCH a monotonous and tiring schedule has reached its end, I’m back! 😀

These days have been so tiring, really! Our exams timetable had been so devised that there was just a day gap between each paper and that means that within like 10 days, we had to give 5 tough papers! And people like me who save for the end A LOT to study get practically killed. Physics, Maths and Chemistry are were my subjects and 10 to 11 chapters in each.

The study system here is very different than that used in the West. Well, the faculty I had chosen was Pre-Engineering which was a headache. Not really, but it was difficult in the days I was studying it through boring teacher lectures. And as soon as I began to study them comprehensively for exams, they appeared to me to be very interesting! But the irony was, that as soon as I found them interesting, the session had come to is end. 😉

Enough for the studies info, now that I’m done with these examinations, and am free, I plan to do the following:

• Write blogs!
• Write a novel. (Draft ready in my head)
• Read many good books! (like the ones already stored in my closet and some to borrow from Moniba and yes, that one Amira told of, ‘Samir and Samira’ which I haven’t read yet!)
• Teach some kids at some school.. (Always wanted to be a teacher, though not sure if this is happening..)
• Learn to use oil-paints perfectly and make a huge painting.
• Write poetries on general topics in a brand new diary. (i.e. buy a diary first 😉 )
• Oh to help my siblings in their studies. IMPORTANT.
• Cook food!!!
• Join a summer course somewhere.
• Days spending at grandmother’s house and as she says, getting sewing classes from her! (which I’m not getting to be good at, but there’s nothing wrong in giving a try!)
• What else? Watch television, play games, and go through all my old stuff..!

Would love to know your suggestions too! 🙂

Time to spread my wings and take a flight ♥

-Maria.

当我在13岁的时候，我想学中文！

WHEN I WAS THIRTEEN, I WANTED TO LEARN CHINESE!

It was when I was thirteen and had discovered an international chat-room on a favorite fictional celebrity’s fan-site, that I had this one! There I was the youngest ‘kid’ though my new ‘friends’ did not treat me childishly.

It was a good experience and I met so many new people from so many parts of the world, like, you name it! And it was there that a Chinese guy aged 18–who was really nice and perhaps the first among them all to have welcomed me there–became a friend. And then he became a teacher. I would learn via emails Chinese text and meanings, like I would mail some sentences and he would translate them along with their pronunciation and help me with them! Then I would copy them in my notebook and try to learn them.

There was this BANG BANG MANG – which meant help me! (帮帮忙)

And you are my friend – which I don’t know was what!

And other simple things!

But after about two weeks or three (hardly), I quit it and told him goodbye and thanked him for teaching me! AND I stopped using that chat room.

Oh and when he used to mention the Chinese language as in the part except the pronunciation, I requested him not to mention the symbols! 😀 He said,

“These aren’t symbols. This is actually Chinese, that was just the pronunciation for you to understand.”

And I was so embarrassed! 😉 Ah well, memories!

So well, I always wanted to learn some new languages and show off;) But they are so hard and I can’t do much.

However, my next aim is to learn French. Or maybe Spanish!

Who is going to be my next teacher? I hope it’s not Google Translator!  😉

Write it up and let it go!

Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.

-Carol Burnett

The last time when I wrote someone a letter was only a day before!
I wrote it to a dear friend of mine and it was a great way to put down all my frustration, and my own secrets- for I needed counselling. I haven’t as yet received her reply but to me, only writing it up has reduced the feeling.
When you have something to share, find a good friend and write to her! Or write a blog- anonymous you may keep.

The two best things to help you in bad times are papers and tears

Plus, writing a letter to your friend brings back the memories of old, good days. So this old-fashioned practice can actually become something of your own – it will bring you ‘your’ time. You’ll get to be with you.

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
― Maya Angelou

Related articles

• Write for the Joy of It (onewaytowonder.wordpress.com)

What really matters in your life..

“When you are in the final days of your life, what will you want?

Will you hug that college degree in the walnut frame? Will you ask to be carried to the garage so you can sit in your car? Will you find comfort in rereading your financial statement? Of course not. What will matter then will be people. If relationships will matter most then, shouldn’t they matter most now?”

(Max Lucado)

Tomorrow: School Reunion!

I am way excited for the school reunion tomorrow evening! It’s the one annual function that I awaited since so long! Actually, it is our Eid party as well as our Re-union from our school so that makes it twice more fun than usual reunion parties!

This is my second reunion after I left school, but last time I couldn’t manage going.. This time I am all ready already!! 🙂

Only today while I was chatting with a friend and she read me some chit-chats we used to have in our classroom during boring lectures! It was about a new Physics teacher who was starting from the baby-steps which was annoying at that time as we knew that stuff already! (But trust me- later she became one of my most favorite ones!).. So my friend had saved that piece of paper and then we had a good old-days-reminiscing time!

The nicest memories of your past are the finest collection you have got!

Memories like black and white of our lives!

Related articles

• School reunions (elizamiddleton.wordpress.com)

I won the prose elocution!

Yesterday was an elocution competition in my college, for which I had been selected along with 18 other students, from my entire college. The passage I chose for reading was from “HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS“, from the chapter ‘the Silver Doe’. It’s extremely lovely and full of expressions! The part I chose was when Harry found the silver creature; Snape’s patronus, and he ran after it. The doe led him to the spot in the forest where he finds the great sword of Gryffindor! (read about the chapter here on wikipedia)

SO I had been rehearsing for the 4 minute passage for weeks, for which my friend Yamna had helped me through out. I used to practice it along with her, and she used to guide me and pick mistakes.

Finally, the great day arrived. We participants were seated on the stage waiting for our turns to read before the judges and the entire hall full of students and professors! I was very tensed and my friends were all encouraging me. I kept repeating what my teacher Miss Tasneem had said a night before: Winning is only the cherry on top. To try is everything.

So I drank water, took a deep breath, gave a look at the crowd, and started when my name was called. My friends were counting on me, and mostly, I was counting on myself.

Long story short, I gave it my best shot for the satisfaction of it, and won.

I was awarded second position, a shield, a book and a certificate of recognition. Photographs were taken along with the teachers and principal, and the day ended in excitement and celebrations!

Image via Wikipedia

December♥Surprises and Rewards..!

My December is so full of surprises and good rewards, that i have start believing that I am getting pretty cool gifts even before my birthday this month;)

This year is ending so smoothly, and as if it loves me, its leaving some cheerful presents for me:)

Right now I am going to have chocolate and nuts ice-cream, and you know what?  It’s so freezingly cold here that I have got a severe pain in my right leg:( {but I think i was about to tell the ‘good-happenings-of-nowadays’.

Okay, so my two bestfriends (who were my school friends) came to my place on Friday…(wait, the ice cream’s so “cold”, not “cool”!) Alright, so i had SUCH A WONDERFUL time with my friends!!!!!!!! We are going to cherish it forever!!! We had lunch here, shared talks, chatted non-stop, got crazy and made memories!! One of them is together with me at college(Though she is in an entirely different faculty, but we do get chances to hang around, together.) while the other one was studying in a different college, so we had a lot to tell each other!

Plus, I made cold coffee for us, which we LOVED so much! i mean, it not only had such a cool blend of brown, but it also tasted AWESOME):P

Thirdly, yesterday I went to my aunt’s house, together with my siblings and mother to spend our day and PARTY hard!! And I had a FABULOUS time with my new-born (actually, 3 months old:) )cousin and we played a lot:) And I had my fave Macaroni Noodles with delicious meat and veggie topping, and tomato sauce on it…Plus Qorma. (which I suppose you don’t know of<sigh> )

Here, meet Bilal:

MashaAllah!!♥♥

And did I forget I went to shopping today?! Or should i call it window shopping only?! Because whatever I wished to purchase, my mom was like “NO WAY!”

Last, but not the least, I got an incentive of complementary classes for 2 subjects because I had got a 90+ in my prev. exams! So, that becomes a happy ending of my post:)

I Thank you Allah, and I thank you people.

Cats and Dogs!

Sir and Madam,

I don’t mean to address you by that name (Cats and Dogs), that actually is the topic for my new blog!

And how’d I get the idea for this blog? I will let you know.

I recently got anewsletter, about a week earlier, from www.answers.com .it mentioned about some funny questions that they recently got. Among which the most interesting one was:

Why don’t cats and dogs like each other?

So, it gave me a new topic to write on!!!

I searched it on Google, and found out to my great amazement, that cats and dogs do like each other!!(at least some rare ones do!!)

Darlings!

❤ ❤ ❤

So you saw that? Lovely, isn’t it? And pardon me, but this is true…

We humans have alot of hate for our enemies. Ever thought of forgiving, and becoming a friend again-of your worst enemy?

Do it now.

Life Rule # 1: Forgive and Forget.

Happy Birthday to me:)

It’s my birthday today!

A special day!

And am enjoying it to the fullest!

(Alhamdolillah:)

Today was also our last day at school,

i.e. before Winter Vacations!!

Sports day was held in another campus!

And we all enjoyed it soo much!!

It was our last sports event in the school,

because then, we will go to a college!

Aaand…My friends gave me gifts..  adorable surprises for a last day and a birthday!!

Mama cooked my favorite prawn biryani!

Ma parents also gave me a great diary!

The one I had longed for!

And my siblings are also making this day a huge, memorable thing!

Love you all ^_^