I think it’s the part where I could go to mom and say “I am feeling so sad right now”.
I could TELL that my stomach hurt – there was a hollow feeling – or I’m cryey.
It’s not the same after marriage.
And this adds to the anxiety. Aik ishq ka gham afat us par ye dil afat, y’know?
Because you’re already feelin’ blue but you can also not share the work of art that is your heart. Red and blue. Blue and red. Yuck.
Sometimes I do wish I would go to my saas and say ammi I feel so sad right now. But she won’t exactly get it.
But did mom get it?
Well I think she did, even if she didn’t always have a fix. Sometimes just saying is enough, haina?
But this does give me something more to think about. Did mom get it? How did I feel in those moments? And this would give me insights into what became my coping mechanisms or how deep it runs, and self-awareness etc. y’know.
Because…. well because I remember.
And right now this is not the only thing that matters. There’s so much more stuff, right, and you…. take a deep breath.
So deep belly breathing is a way of regulating your nervous nervous system. You should try it right now. Thrice.