2019, Proses

Graves are for dead, dead are for graves

“You are keeping him from forgiveness because you don’t want to let go of him. This is your excuse for keeping his memory intact – the wound doesn’t even exist anymore!”

“What rubbish! No. The wound does exist, how can it not? I can fill all my heart but that tiny void. His grave. And he must pay for it. If not here then there. But I…” she paused for a moment: “I must keep him answerable until then.”

“Dead use graves. Let him die for once.”

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2013, By the roaring waves!, My Writings

Be my savior, oh Pain!

I wanted to tell them that I loved them.

But I wanted too,

That they feel the soft hues of love themselves..

I wanted to tell my family, that I was nothing without them.

I wanted to tell my friends, that all the joy in my life was due to them..!

I wanted to tell that person, that my feelings for him were sacred..

They were not unimportant. In fact, they were wrapped up with a blanket of beautiful dreams and warm wishes..!

Wishes that remained unfulfilled. . .

I wanted to write on my country’s sand.. that I live for it and I will die for it..

I wanted to tell God, that I trust Him more than anyone in His world..

BUT..

It wasn’t the time that slipped away.

It was the courage.

And I could never tell them what I wanted them to know.

I couldn’t make them understand.

I couldn’t satisfy their needs.

.

A stone was projected on me. It hit my head. I could feel hot, red blood running down my forehead to my cheeks, towards my neck.. I was hit more stones. Even more stones..

They hit my legs, my thighs were bleeding..

They hit my arms, my elbows, my palms, my fingers, everything was aching..

Pain was screeching in my ears..

Pain was shouting.

Pain was yelling at the top of its intensity.

It seemed as if pain was punishing me for not being able to listen to it..

Then it began to understand me..

It came closer.. and sat beside me. So near, I could feel it on me. Within no time could I entirely forget the stones, the lights within the darkness, the hurt, the body.

It was just me, and pain, in complete darkness. It was swallowing me.

It was ceasing my wounds. It was giving me such an ease that I could easily forget my surroundings, and let it swallow me.. It licked and licked me, and soon my eyelids began to close.. I needed rest.. And sleep was now enveloping me. My eyelids dropped very slowly and my muscles began to relax..

The only one thing I said thanks to, was my dear friend and benefactor, PAIN

© All rights reserved: Maria <Randomly Abstract>.

Photo credit: Typewriter.

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