Just Another Night – not.

I close my eyes and consciously direct my mind to rest. Settle, nerves. Breathe. It’s okay. And while they are closed, I let them see just black. Black that is absence but black that is peaceful right now. Breathe. There’s nothing to worry about, you know that. You are used to this.

The air is actually fresh and not bitter. There’s no weight on my chest, or maybe just a bit. Isn’t it funny how you have started to visualise him when he’s not actually here? Is it? However, this is just a phase and phases change. Like people change and well, they don’t come back like that. You will learn it with time. It’s been a lot but just some more.

Sigh.

Open now.

 

“You—you stayed?”

tsk

they are all growing old
old and apart.
none of them truly excited
about anything at all
and as they stand close,
shoulders touching,
you hear them whisper,
dewy-eyed:
happiness is not a goal.
you nod
and stifle a giggle.
they’re all the same!
all, winners in this game

Leading Lady.

Lights off/curtains down
darkness spreads/a sharp sound
–

stage breaks/people shout
helter-skelter/they run about
–

fire starts/audience leaves
amidst flames/the lady weeps.

Windy drizzles and memories ♥

I stood at the balcony whilst it rained. It was today’s dark night and the sky had blackened more than ever. It started with strong windy blows and it was not late before some tiny droplets began to pour. Tiny, tiny droplets, with increasing wind made it feel so soothing that I couldn’t stop admiring.

While I stood at the balcony, my head peeping out to enjoy the rain, I saw the fearful lightning on the dark, black sky. It was something that made everything go very bright, for split seconds. It looked frightening, orange streaks of it. And then the crosswind had made it hard to breathe. But I wanted to exhale the beauty of it! I wanted to live in that moment so that I can cherish it later, for a thing of beauty is a joy forever!

The rain dropped with its sweet smell and tiny texture on my face. I was amazed by the beauty of that moment. It was all so splendid. Though the lightning streaks and high airstream made me think of those who might be facing different problems due to the sudden change in weather tonight. I prayed to God to bless his mercy and save from His wrath. Then I thought of a friend who is on her exotic trip to Kashmir- the beautiful Kashmir! I hope she is enjoying to her best for she loves the rain as much as I do.

The polythene bags flew with the direction of wind and it was quite interesting to watch them do, (though they are a sign of pollution) they would fly so high and with such an impeccable speed that it was difficult to catch their view!

The trees were blown back and forth at a ferocious and violent speed due to the hurricane and the pedestrians had all hurried to their destinations. However, there still was traffic running on the streets because the people were in a hurry to reach their houses, safe and sound.

After having it all stand in my memory as strong and vivid that I could make it, I returned inside and had dinner. half an our later that I went to my balcony, the drizzling had stopped but the wind was as blissful as it was. The water from the taps is as cold as ice and my hands too..

Tuesday April 2, 2013.

当我在13岁的时候，我想学中文！

WHEN I WAS THIRTEEN, I WANTED TO LEARN CHINESE!

It was when I was thirteen and had discovered an international chat-room on a favorite fictional celebrity’s fan-site, that I had this one! There I was the youngest ‘kid’ though my new ‘friends’ did not treat me childishly.

It was a good experience and I met so many new people from so many parts of the world, like, you name it! And it was there that a Chinese guy aged 18–who was really nice and perhaps the first among them all to have welcomed me there–became a friend. And then he became a teacher. I would learn via emails Chinese text and meanings, like I would mail some sentences and he would translate them along with their pronunciation and help me with them! Then I would copy them in my notebook and try to learn them.

There was this BANG BANG MANG – which meant help me! (帮帮忙)

And you are my friend – which I don’t know was what!

And other simple things!

But after about two weeks or three (hardly), I quit it and told him goodbye and thanked him for teaching me! AND I stopped using that chat room.

Oh and when he used to mention the Chinese language as in the part except the pronunciation, I requested him not to mention the symbols! 😀 He said,

“These aren’t symbols. This is actually Chinese, that was just the pronunciation for you to understand.”

And I was so embarrassed! 😉 Ah well, memories!

So well, I always wanted to learn some new languages and show off;) But they are so hard and I can’t do much.

However, my next aim is to learn French. Or maybe Spanish!

Who is going to be my next teacher? I hope it’s not Google Translator!  😉

What really matters in your life..

“When you are in the final days of your life, what will you want?

Will you hug that college degree in the walnut frame? Will you ask to be carried to the garage so you can sit in your car? Will you find comfort in rereading your financial statement? Of course not. What will matter then will be people. If relationships will matter most then, shouldn’t they matter most now?”

(Max Lucado)

In the journey of life…

There are few people whom I wish never were in my life.

And for whom I wish I had never came across to, never liked, never followed, never thought of them, never loved ..

But I believe every person that comes, comes for a reason. And every pain that hurts, hurts for a reason!

 .