2019, Passages

dream, soul, what

I saw you in a dream. Again. How many times I think about taking your name but dust it off, it’s not possible. It’s not good. It’s not useful either.

I saw you in a dream again and it was so real. Like our two separate lives. Manind e Khushfehmi. I ask him “haal e shuma chitoray” and he takes his time. I imagine him opening a new tab. He searches for it and replies: “theek Alhamdulillah.”

I am already 4 languages down but it doesn’t create a mess in me anymore. The loudest is the language of art only. And some day I will tell you it was the soul’s.

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2019, Urdu musings

Maseeha Mazaq

Maseeha!
Tum ho ke mai?

Ye batain saari jhoot hain ya sachh? Kia pata sachh keh kar dhoka hojaye. Kia pata jhoot hi sara sachha ho?

Tum samajhtay rahay tum maseeha ho

Kia pata kuch anokha ye qissa ho

Kia pata tum jis talaash per niklay, mai uskey dusray siray pe kharay jab tumhara intizar kartay thak jaun tou tum se kaheen agaay nikal jaun.

Tum samajhtay rahogay mai palat aungi kyunke tumhe lagta hai tum maseeha ho

Mera Maseeha mujhay tor kar jor deta hai. Lekin tumhe kia dikhata hai? Jhoot? Ya sachh?

Kia pata Uski Maseehai tumhe bhi lag jaye. Kia pata tumhe maafi mil jaye

Kia pata kabhi tum mujhay maseeha samjho.

Kia pata tum is uljhan se kabhi na niklo

Aameen.

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2017, Passages

((Khamoshi))

Raasta sunsaan tha aur chaaron taraf khamoshi phaili hui thi.ย  Khamoshi ki bhi aik apni aawaaz hoti hai.ย  Aik apni kefiat hoti hai.ย  Aik apna hi pattern hota hai.ย  Mai ne aik zamanay me mukhtalif khamoshiyan record ki theen.ย  Raat ke aik bajay maqbara e Noor Jehan ke bahar paanch minute ki khamoshi record ki thi.ย  Phir adhi raat ko Samanabad ki Doonghi Ground ki khamoshi record ki thi.ย  Phir Cholistan me adhi raat ka sannata record kia tha.ย  Ye teenon recordain meray paas moujood hain aur mai ne inhain kai lougo ko sunwaya hai.ย  Aik jaga ki khamoshi dusri jaga se mukhtalif hai.ย  Jab aik nihayat hi khamosh jaga me aadmi teen ghantay tak musalsal betha rahay tou ibtida me is par barri khushgawar kefiat guzarti hain.ย  Phir dil dharaknay ki sada anay lagti hai. Is ke sath nabz chalnay aur ragon ke pharaknay ki aawaaz shuru ho jati hai aur ahista ahista ye sadaen itni buland ho jati hain ke “kanon” ke parday phatnay lagtay hain aur andar bahar beshumar dhol bajnay lagtay hain.ย  Itni oonchi aawaaz aati hai ke aadmi se bardasht nahi hoti aur wo muztarib ho ke sannatay se bahar nikalnay ki koshish karta hai aur in aawaazon me panah dhoondta hai jo uskay maamool me dakhil hoti hain.ย  Sannata aur khamoshi barra azab hai.

Safar dar Safar, Ashfaq Ahmed.

This book is all sorts of beautiful. I’m halfway through and can’t wait to hold it again. Another one I’m reading is Labbaik by Mumtaz Mufti. Intihai <3. #currentreads

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2015, Poems and poetry, Proses

The universe smiles with me.

“Sea waves kiss my feet. I bend to hold wet sand in my hand and close my fingers for a while to feel. It slips away when I open them again but the lines on my palm glitter with a soft silver gleam. I turn back and night shifts and I find myself in another place. There is no sea, no waves, no wind. But the inside of my hand glitters still. I lay back down and find grass beneath me. Soothing and serene. I touch some strands to gather green. It tickles, softly. Your name I write then, on my skin, and smile. The universe smiles with me.”

Written in response to writing challenge 201: “Skin”. (Write a prose poem using internal rhymes; choose whatever meaning of skin speaks most to you.)

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2015, Poems and poetry

Truly Yours.

To you, I want to give flowersโ€“I donโ€™t mind that being clichedโ€“

Roses, wrapped in ribbons. Letters, soaked in perfume. Stars.

Unnecessary though it might be, I want to tell you again and so often

Love, how much I have come to love you that I’ve now begun to live you.

Your thought is my drug, your memory is heavenโ€™s mercy,

Your presence is an air without which my lungs parch up.

Oh the Sun of my universe, the Light of my soul!

Undying is my adorationโ€“like a forever flowing ocean.

Remember this: my gift to you is my heart. I am yours.

Some day you’ll see. That some day, we will be.

Written in response to Writing 201 challenge: write something about a gift, use a simile. Poem form: acrostic. (The first letters of each line together form a special word which is the theme here.) Hi.

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2015, Poems and poetry

[Re-]Quest

What am I without you?

A bag of bones;
useless.

A restless heart–
stopping just.

A cry unheard,
a sob.

silently packing way
into oblivion.
disappearance.
to unknown: nullity.

What am I without you?,
so see towards me.

Grant~

A Look
That may last an eternity.

Painting by Freydoon Rassouli; an Iranian-Born, American abstract surrealist painter.

ยค

Before I wilt
Crush me
On your Palm
And let
My fragrance
Diffuse
Into your Skin
And be carried
Through your Veins
So that I
Dissolve Utterly
Into what
Is Ultimately
Yourself.

Painting by Freydoon Rassouli; an Iranian-Born, American abstract surrealist painter.

ยค

ย ุงูŽู„ู’ุญูŽู…ู’ุฏู ู„ูู„ู‡ู ุงู„ูŽู‘ุฐููŠู’ ุฎูŽู„ูŽู‚ูŽ ุงู„ู†ูู‘ูˆู’ุฑูŽ ู…ูู†ูŽ ุงู„ู†ูู‘ูˆู’ุฑู ูˆูŽ ุงูŽู†ู’ุฒูŽู„ูŽ ุงู„ู†ูู‘ูˆู’ุฑูŽ ุนูŽู„ูŽู‰ ุงู„ุทูู‘ูˆู’ุฑู ูููŠู’โ€ ูƒูุชูŽุงุจู ู…ูŽุณู’ุทููˆู’ุฑู. ูููŠู’ ุฑูŽู‚ูู‘ ู…ูŽู†ู’ุดููˆู’ุฑู ุจูู‚ูŽุฏูŽุฑู ู…ูŽู‚ู’ุฏููˆู’ุฑู ุนูŽู„ูฐู‰ ู†ูŽุจููŠูู‘ ู…ูŽุญู’ุจููˆู’ุฑู.

ยค

Painting by Freydoon Rassouli– an Iranian-born, American abstract surrealist painter.

  1. Desire.
  2. Al-desire.
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