My beautiful ladies and gentlemen! I welcome on stage, our very famous (?) WordPress blogger who started her career almost three years back and is now a proud owner of… erm, just 230 posts! Anyways, on your huge applause we have here with us: Miss Randomly Abstract!!!
*Deafening applause* (A lady dressed in a royal blue sarri comes forward to the stage and turns to wave the crowd before she climbs the first step.)*gestures thankyou by waving her hands* and takes a step forward, still looking back and thump! (the crowd gasps unitedly and looks in horror at the fallen creature)
The host first looks horrified, than he crouches as he tries to keep his laughter when the angry lady shouts at him.
“You bead-eyed! Can’t you see your guest has fallen? Is it not in your list of manners to come ahead and help her up???”
‘Oh sorry ma’am. I’m very sorry’, says the embarrassed host as he hurries towards the step and holds her hand to help her stand.
“Now here. Next time remember to be dutiful. If there is another next time, God forbid.”, hushes the lady in his ear.
‘Sorry for the interruption ladies and gentlemen! Here we have our beautiful blogger, Miss R.A with us. Let us make most of this honorable occasion and ask her about herself’, says the host in an effort to bring things back to good.
“Hi everybody!”, exclaims Miss R.A as she forces the host away and takes his place on the dice. (the host looks disgustingly)
“I am Miss R.A. And this is a very blissful occasion as you see. I have been honored with a numberrr of awards by my beautifullll readers!” *she hides her purse behind the dice and opens the zip secretly* “And so, I’d like to thank each one of you for your support and appreciation. To finally commence my speech, I’d like to…” *her hands in her purse as she tries to find something, her forehead wrinkled with confusion* “quote my favorite….
(Oh wait, where’s my speech? *lady looks terrified as she fails to find her paper which she had kept in her purse*
The host comes forward, forgetting the previous disrespectful situation and asks politely if she as lost something.)
“Yes. I have lost my mind, say that. Where is my written speech?”, she asked.
‘No problem missus. Don’t fuss please. Say whatever you remember or what ever you’d like to, please’, pleaded the irritated host.
“Yeah if it was you, I would have seen how not to fuss when your paper’s missing. It had taken me the whole long night, then another more hours to get it proofread and now that its missing, you tell me NOT TO FUSS? NO PROBLEM it is? How ridiculous!”
‘Well ma’am. You are getting off your limits. Kindly pardon the crowd and end up with your turn already’, the host half-shouts.
“So well my dearies,” continues Miss R.A as she completely ignores the host, “I am still not too old to forget what my favorite quote was. My lovely friend Paulo Coelho once said:
When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream.
And you see, that has stood true for me! Here while I stand addressing you all at this position on such an occasion, I think it holds true for me. It must, for you too.
Now coming back to my bunch of awards, you see I have got a whole lot of them. This is the third time I have been called, and I shall be pleased to announce what I have in my trophy closet for now!
Firstly, thank you Bee for these special awards! I am so glad you thought of me! 🙂
Second, I must thank Ajaytao for gifting me with so many of them: that day and this day! And as you generously ask me to choose on my own, I will choose those that are new and my favorite. Thanks! 🙂
Now, thanks to my very dear friends at Two Rights Attempting To Make A Left for these awesome tokens of love:
And now, well here is this Shine on Award from Special One and lets please invite him here to praise me.
He: You are a genius! You write beautiful prose and poetry! You deserve this Shine On Award from me, please accept and oblige!
Me: Why Special One! Thankyou!! 🙂
He: “every blogger thinks that they think so much and too much and so deep and too deep and no one can match their brain pattern and so on and on. actually you people are just social rejects who dont have humans to listen to your rants.”
Me: WHAT?? What the hell are you talking about? I, a social reject?
He: “Writing is not a skill. It’s not, ask a 5-year-old to write some thing about his/her favorite thing and they will have some words on the paper too and some one would find a deep meaning and hidden metaphors within them. writing is just a way to kill time and to boost your -..”
(Lady looks baffled. She doesn’t know how to respond and cuts in.)
Me: Thankyou special One! I really appreciate you thought of me, but well I think your time’s up. You may leave.”
He: Every one responds with thankyou for reading it and I respect your opinions and blah but inside they are probably either planning the murder or devastated and let down. Relax love.
Me: THANKYOU SPECIAL ONE. Please leave!
He laughs and says, oh and you have a very awkward blog name! Then he goes away. (Lady sighs with relief while the crowd hoots for that brave man. Lady looks sternly at the host who is laughing hard so that he immediately stops and pretends to be serious.)
“Well my followers! That was just a funny admirer, he has his own ways of telling how much he appreciates it.”, adds the lady calmly.
“Here we have some more awards. Which one is this? Oh my beloved friend White Pearl has given me the Awesome Blog Content award. Why White Pearl, thankyou sooo much! :D”
Host: Ma’am are you done yet?
Lady: I’ve won many awards and I want more. If you want to call it hunger then I’m hungry for awards.
Host: Didn’t Shahrukh Khan said that?
Lady: What’s with you??
“Now here is our another lovely friend The Only Martian who has honored me from the Shine On award! Thankyou dearest! :)”
“Thankyou my friends for thinking of me! You see, I am not following any rules except expressing my gratitude which is because I am very very happy! 😀
Now I’d like to end my post- erm speech here. Yes host, keep on mimicking me. What do you think? Am I blind? Anywaaaaaays, thankyou all!
And yess, to let you all know how thankful I am, I must allow each one of you to choose these awards, so those of you who follow even any single of the following terms, qualify:
- Those that rate my poems Can You Draw Hatred and/or The Shadow Show.
- Those that like my facebook page here: Randomly Abstract, which you must do gleefully! 😉
- Those that are already linked here.
- Those that comment below! =D
- And even those that just like! (yes yes, grab your favorite ones!)
Now thankyou and rejoice! Your favorite awards are yours! 😀
(Lady waves to the cheering crowd and takes a step forward when she realizes she is forgetting her purse, turns back, picks her purse and paper and waves again, not forgetting to shoot a stern look at the impeccable host who is grinning joyfully.)
This speech has been written in response to the Daily Prompt: I’d Like to Thank My Cats: You are receiving an award –- either one that already exists, or a new one created just for you. What would the award be, why are you being honored, and what would you say in your acceptance speech? / Last but not the Least.
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